She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
