I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
