I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize