She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
