vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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