I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This is the high leading the old right now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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