Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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