Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
