we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
