Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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