You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
