I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
