Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
