rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize