I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
