FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
