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• (817): View more from Texas

  you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag

  (817): View more from Texas

  could you get any more awkward?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well

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• (831): View more from California

  dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.

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