also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
is that a dick in a sweater?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
