you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
