The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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