the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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