ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
