My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
soo... how was my night?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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