Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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