We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
