If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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