u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
