Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize