Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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