if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
