Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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