Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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