Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
