Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
