i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
