And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
