i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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