Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
