why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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