Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
