We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
