Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize