My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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