I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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