Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
