guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
