So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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