I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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