I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
