I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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