Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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