Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
