How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
