Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
