Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
