So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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