My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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