last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
