Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
