My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
