the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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