The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
