Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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