You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
