hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
