i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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