try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
