giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
