a queef is a wish your heart makes.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What a dumb baby whore.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
