My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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