Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just found a bag of teeth...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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