Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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