I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
