Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
