wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
