i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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