just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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